Indian Summer

The past week turned out to be one laden with tedious drudgery and a relentless relay of mental gymnastics that has resulted in me feeling exhausted and grateful to have finally arrived on the merciful shores of the weekend. In fact, I suppose I could say so for the entire month that was.

I'm an autumn child; someone who enjoys the comfort of sunshine, cold winds, warm coffee mugs and crunchy leaves to step on. The heat and humidity brings out the worst in me- my temper flares up like a solar storm, there is verbal vomit that is almost always followed with regret and embarrassment. I've often considered the prospect of going into a solitary hibernation during the summer months; lying flat on my back in a cold vacuum chamber, with my eyes shut, seeing nothing, doing nothing, saying nothing, only to wake up and resume normal life when the ambient temperature is more hospitable to my flaky head.

However, to shift slightly away from the rather psychedelic ideas that my brain is home to, it just hit me how we begin the sixth month of the year on Monday. As I tend to do on any significant dates, I'm forced to introspect and analyze the past half year that flew by like a bullet from a blazing gun.

What have I achieved? What have I lost? Who did I hurt? How much did I love? What did I forget to do? Have I been a good person?

Ask yourself these questions, dear readers. And above all, ask yourself if this is who you wish to be for the next six months. 

I think if we train our brains well enough, we can establish an efficient heart-brain network and frankly, that's all we really need to make it through weeks such as the one that ends tonight. It's a wonderful blessing to have found true love, perfect friends, and a doting family, but if you are unsure of the person that you are, and if you depend on someone-anyone-for your primary source of peace and joy, then that's one thing that needs your urgent attention for the next half of 2015. Find your inner pool of happiness so you can share it with your loved ones and spread some light and laughter. Oh, and self-acceptance! Work on what you can improve, but before that, accept what you have and who you are.

I am weird, ditsy, supremely temperamental, possessive, insecure and underweight; but I am also honest, dedicated, loyal, optimistic, loving and well, I guess I'm a confident writer, if nothing else. So for every negative I house in this little body, there's an equally bright and shiny positive.

And this holds true for us all. I guess we just need to stop being so harsh and judgmental about our own selves to allow the positives in us to multiply in a happier, kinder environment.

I want to be a better person for the people that I love, so that's what I'm deciding to work on from the sultry month of June.

Meanwhile, let's keep our floppy hats on, any sticky make-up off, and thank the Lord for the greatest invention of our time- air-conditioning!

Flash Of Light

You are the reason
That the universe has held
Itself together
Through so many storms and quakes,
On sturdy legs, and sometimes
On shaky ground-
But it has held on,
Like the grip of a tendril
That doesn't let go
Unless Death arrives
And turns the green into dust.
You have handed me
The confusing pieces of the jigsaw
That the world made of me
In an arranged fashion,
Organized into a little flash
Of perfection that spells to me
A sentence only I can read-
And it tells me that I'm loved
Beyond my wildest dreams,
And beyond my deepest intuitions
Of how love was supposed to be,
And what the universe would
Allow me to own.

Brown

In your dark eyes, you have shown me
The world as you see it, in sepia,
Black and white, and in technicolor,
Changing shape like a melting ice cube
Or a pouring thunder cloud.
Your lips have taken me to countries
And fed me luscious cuisines
From the peninsulas of solitude,
The plains of companionship,
From the mountains borne of our love-
I have tasted it all from those lips.
When they kiss the air and romance
My tongue,
I have heard stories you've never even told
Through a wrinkle here, a frown there,
A nervous twitch here, a grateful touch there.
When your skin flames up red and luminescent,
I have felt the temperature of our
Rising libidos, and our growing love.
I have felt the pain of distance,
I have heard the songs of missing,
And in your dark eyes I have seen
A shade of brown that hides from you
Only to come out of hiding
When I am the audience,
As if though, it knows who I am
And how much I love you.

Extraordinary Measures

I cannot write with the same ease and flair that has belonged to my fingers and mind since I learnt how to spell and hold a pencil two decades ago. I wonder if this is a symptom of an excessively cluttered mind with overflowing compartments or because I haven't managed to read anything inspiring in an unusually long time. They say that reading good literature increases the flow of one's creative juices; it supposedly smooths and shines up those tiny ideas that are already present in your mind into becoming something bigger and better. However, I've always believed that the kind of originality that appeals to me when I read something I end up liking cannot possibly be plagiarized through another writer's work, no matter if that's an indirect hijacking of creativity.

How does one stay true to one's self in a circumstance such as this, and how long does such a creative drought last?

I've been doing this for longer than I can remember, and I am quite aware of my temperament as a writer which is why I have been repeatedly telling myself to remain calm and let the ideas return home. I suppose they are much like migratory birds that only come back when the weather is more hospitable and kind.

So here's me hoping very sincerely for the words to return and fill me up like a fat vat of magic potion that shall lift me out of this rut that I seem to be furnishing. When they return, I can imagine it's going to feel like a warm hug from the man I love who I haven't seen for the longest time in a while.

My life always ends up telling me parallel stories that come in twos. There's always something to learn and grow with.

Until that glorious and much anticipated moment that I manage to enchant you (and myself) with a relatively respectable post, I hope you have a happy weekend, devoid of earthquakes, storms and/or being away from the one you love.