Wednesday, 31 December 2014

2014 Has Left The Building

I seem to have made my own random traditions over the years when it comes to my writing habits- certain types of poetry that has its roots set firmly in rains and cloudy afternoons, some stories that come alive when the despotic beats of the summer months are raging high and strong, those essays that find release when I am low on inspiration and find myself falling prey to the boring nothingness of uneventful weeks, and most importantly, that one long and rather self-centered review of the year gone by that I find myself writing on an annual basis on the 31st of December.

2014 did everything in its power to change the way my life ran; I've done an ungraceful pirouette on my axis and landed back on my own two feet, except for one little fact. I started this year on shaky, uncertain grounds where the future was as visible and predictable to me as the road looks to a driver on a foggy winter morning in Delhi.
I wished for money, success, glory and recognition on this day last year, like a greedy little leprechaun with tunnel-vision, a skewed perception of the world and an insatiable desire to prove to everyone that I wasn't an ordinary person with ordinary dreams. I was fueled by a mad ambition and fanned my own flames in a way that was previously alien to me.
Maybe this was because of the experiences that sat in my memory and glared smugly at my present, or maybe this was because I had reached some kind of moral nadir which allowed me to barter life's more intangible priorities for material pleasure, abandon emotion and adopt this severely inordinate desire to shine brighter than imaginable.
Driven by cynicism and blinded by this hunt for power, I trudged along into 2014 without knowing for a second that I was in for a life-changing ride on the world's wildest roller-coaster.
The year began with an insidious sickness that crept into my mother's life and thus, inescapably, into mine. There were innumerable hospital visits and needle pricks that we dealt with, and it took a few months before we could point our tired fingers to an accurate diagnosis; and even then, mother's recovery took nearly the whole year. I can only assume that this was God trying to teach me the value of good health and how we can never take our bodies for granted and run them mercilessly like they're just another gizmo we decided to buy from the nearest Apple store that possibly has a replacement policy. Our bodies do not have a replacement policy, and any damage done can take months to heal. I learnt the value of a healthy body, a loving family and the simple joys of waking up the next morning without worrying about hospital visits or blood tests.
I started working and making money (however embarrassingly meager it might be) this year, which is quite a liberating experience. It makes you feel like a grown-up in ways that grey hair or wrinkles probably won't. There are days when I hate my boss with a ferocious strength and evenings when I find some patients being distrustful of my surgical abilities because I'm merely twenty-five and I wear nail-paint. However, there are also days when my patients gift me chocolates and give me warm hugs when they leave my clinic free of pain and being able to smile freely again.
I faced failure and I faced success when it came to academic avenues, and although at the time, the success didn't seem successful enough and the failure seemed all encompassing, in retrospect, it wasn't so. I learned to take neither success nor failure seriously.
I suppose the only one thing that is worth acknowledgment in life is happiness.
This year gave me the biggest source of happiness I have ever known, so despite whatever negatives it may have showered on me, this one little spring of joy is strong enough to hold my attention till my dying day and remind me when necessary, that the biggest priority in one's life should be love and family.
Shiny exteriors fade away with time, dollar bills depreciate in value, and fancy cars eventually run out of fuel. A true friend/ partner will stand by your side at your best and worst and make your journey a more memorable one.
From the year that starts tomorrow, I wish for good health, peace and success for all the people I love. I wish for the world to be a safer place and for fewer children to die at the hands of merciless demons with Kalashnikovs.
And as for myself, I only ask that this year be the happiest one that I have ever had so far in my quarter century on earth. Simple enough, eh?

Have a great night folks! It's a wrap.

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