There is suddenly this requirement, this urgent need for the
sort of companionship that does not require any explanations, that does not
demand any unattainable goals, that does not admonish my behavior; that is
there, unquestionably and always, like a silent prayer that has been softly but
surely cast into the skies.
No man is an island, even though I have often claimed that
I’d like to be one. And going by how I've been living my life over the past
couple of years, I’d say that I've carved a nice little island off the coast of
Australia for myself, somewhere, seeded deeply in the waters of the Indian
Ocean, invisible to all those eyes who do not know where to look for it.
Looking around, I see almost everyone in a relationship or
getting engaged/married, and here I am, sitting with my computer day and night,
filling college applications or spending my father’s money sending them out to
those faraway lands which bear that seductive promise of a lucrative future. It
opens my eyes to so many things that are wrong with the way the world has
become. Or perhaps it’s always been this way and it’s only now that I’ve
managed to scrutinize it thus.
My country is going positively berserk with all the election
based drama. Politicians are behaving like monkeys vying for the top spot of
Most-Entertaining-Circus-Animal-of-the-Year, trying to make each other look
even more ridiculous than they already do. All this, just so that they get to
wear the bloody Prime Ministerial crown and rule over the land. Wow, maybe even
that dolt Rahul Gandhi has a point—power really is poison! It manages to worm its way into your bloodstream like an
evil parasite, and then it blinds you to everything.
Some of my friends asked me recently who I’d like to vote
for this year, and it made me feel like I was being forced to choose
between the devil and the deep sea. This was literally the first thing that
popped out of my mouth. How sad is that? Imagine—if the first analogy that
comes to me when I think of the two men vying to become the Prime Minister of
my country evokes this sense of haplessness, and a desire to keep running away,
far away until I hit a happier shore—something is really really wrong with the
way things are.
The place in my life that I am currently in, well let’s just
say it’s a slippery ground. I have a degree and a license to practice medicine,
but what I don’t have yet is that sense of balance that’s mythically supposed
to have arrived by now in my life. I live happily with my family, after five
years of living alone, and I’m frankly quite lucky to be getting this time with
them. This, I most certainly am grateful for! What I do not like is that even
now, I have that slightly hollow sensation somewhere in my thorax, as if
something very vital has been pulled away from me. I really miss my friends,
and I wish that I could still have those random, unplanned craziness-sessions
with the gang,
But still, I don’t think that that’s what is supposed to
fill up that thoracic void. I don’t know what it is, I don’t know how I’ll get
it, but I need to get it. Somehow, anyhow.
Everybody deserves to have their moments of contentment and
pure unadulterated joy in life. I’d say mine is long overdue. Come on
already!
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